Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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