So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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