Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Drake has all the answers
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
