that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Randomize