Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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