Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
