She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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