She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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