pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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