Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize