seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
