why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
