I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
