New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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