do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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