So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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