Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
