he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
