in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
