? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
