hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
