Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Randomize
