I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
