its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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