Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
