i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
