they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
