i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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