Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
