his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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