I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
