its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
