As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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