Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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