..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
