I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
