If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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