I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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