its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
