Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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