So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
