honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize