Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
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