He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
