just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
