I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
