Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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