i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
