I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
