this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize