He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize