Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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