my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
