I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
