I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
