Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
