we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
