AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm getting married
To pizza
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
