I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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