they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
