He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
