I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
