Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
