just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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