I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
