I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
