it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You ruined the universe
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