My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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