There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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