PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
