We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize