Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
