I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Im part way to drunk.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
