Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
