I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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