i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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