how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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