girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize