my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
